Wednesday, April 16, 2014

People are Resilient and Come Back from Tragedies But Not Everyone Heals on the Same Timeline

People are Resilient and Come Back from Tragedies But Not Everyone Heals on the Same Timeline.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombings and we heard some amazing stories about people being resilient and strong one year later. I even shared some of the photos on my blog because I thought it was inspirational to see how strong people can be! I think it's great to spread a positive mental health message through the media when we often times just hear the negative. However.... not everyone has healed. Some people are still suffering from the trauma of the Boston Marathon Bombings especially on the one year anniversary.

Anniversaries can be hard! I know first hand how hard anniversaries of a tragic event can be. Although I don't compare my fires to the Boston Marathon Bombings (how could I?), I do understand how unbearable the emotions of a tragic day can be. Human beings are resilient. No matter what the trauma, people have a tendency over time to bounce back and recover from trauma or tragedy. It is great to focus on the positive stories. But let's not forget about those that are still hurting! Because while human beings do have a tendency to bounce back, human beings can also be hurt in huge ways and for prolonged periods of time!

I can guarantee that there are people still hurting one year after the bombings. While media coverage one year later in an attempt to highlight the positive stories is great, it also brings back the memories and emotions from that difficult day. There are likely people who have struggled for the past year and find the one year anniversary to be a real challenge to get through. These people will likely cry, mourn and possibly struggle with symptoms of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). The hardest part about this is that people who are hurting may not talk about it, but they are out there. I read an article recently that referred to these people as the silent injuries of the Boston Marathon Bombings and that's probably pretty accurate. Many times when people are struggling with memories of a trauma they won't talk about it because it's too painful. These people include the injured but also very likely include people that may not have been physically injured in the bombings but they were injured nonetheless. They may have lost a loved one, feared for a loved one while trying to find them, witnessed the bombing first hand but were far enough out of harms way to not be physically injured. They may have been volunteers assigned to work in the finish line area, health care workers assigned to assist in the medical tent that day, paramedics caring for those that were injured, police officers trying to find those responsible for the evil event or spectators who witnessed the bombings and didn't hesitate to jump in and help the injured. Many people were affected by the tragic events on 4/15/13. Not everyone has healed. The healing process can take time...

It's okay not to be okay about the Boston Marathon Bombings. It's important to remember just because you don't fit the image of the smiling person on the news talking about how they have recovered from the tragedy doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It's okay to admit that you may have been injured by the events on 4/15/13. It's okay to admit that it has been hard. It's okay to admit that the one year anniversary is particularly hard. Everyone who has lived through a trauma understands on some level how you feel. Healing takes time. For some it takes longer than others. There is no timeline for healing.

Whether it's the Boston Marathon Bombings, the recent hate crime shootings in Johnson County, Kansas or some other unspeakable tragedy that has you hurting please know that you are not alone. If you need to talk, call a family member or friend. Reach out to someone. If you don't have someone to call (or are afraid to call someone you know) please call the number listed below. Your call is confidential. Coming from someone that has felt pain that seemed unbearable I can say with certainty that it helps to talk to someone, anyone who is willing to listen. If you prefer, they have a chat line you can use instead of making a phone call. To learn more visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline page at:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. This site is not just for those that may be feeling suicidal but for ANYONE  who is struggling and needs to talk.



If you are a runner and want to participate in a virtual run to show support for Boston please follow this link:  http://www.runjunkees.com/


Good Luck to all those running the Boston Marathon on 4/21/14. The world will be watching and cheering!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Remembering Boston one year later - April 15, 2013

Today is the one year anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings. What strength and perseverance Boston has shown us since that day! Photographer Robert Fogarty did a message-on-skin photo series set on Boylston Street that catches the strength of some of those impacted that fateful day:












 


Thank you survivors for showing us your strength and resilience! God bless you as you continue to heal! 

Monday, April 14, 2014

What the hell is wrong with people?

Kansas City (Johnson County Kansas and Jackson County Missouri) is a safe place to live, relatively speaking, but you probably wouldn't guess it based on the events recently. Over the past few weeks Kansas City area citizen's have been on alert due to a series of shootings on highways around the metro area. At first police wouldn't confirm they were related but with more people coming forward with information about their vehicles being shot at, it became apparent that at least some of the shootings were related. As of Friday police indicated that 20 shootings across the area were possibly related and they are following up on at least 75 tips received through TIPS Crime Stoppers hot line regarding the recent shootings. While extra police presence has been noticed on the highways in areas where shootings have been reported, some have decided to avoid the highways if possible. I won't say that I am going out of my way to avoid the highway but certainly when heading somewhere if I have the option of side streets versus highway I have been taking the side streets especially if I am heading towards Three Trails Crossing. More than half of the shootings were in the Grandview, MO area  in the vicinity of the Three Trails Crossing where 71/49, 435 and 470 Highways all meet so when I am heading that direction to go to Wayside Waifs I have been exiting early and taking side roads. I realize taking side roads are not always an option depending on destination so just be aware of your surroundings and report crime if you see it happen. Many times a crime is solved because citizen's report it to police. Police can only be in so many places at once and need assistance from the public. If you see it, report it! Law enforcement on both sides of the state line are stepping up patrol in hopes to keep citizens safe and to learn who is behind the shootings.




Is this a unique situation? To the KC area it is. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen elsewhere, we just tend to focus more on our little corner of the world and right now Kansas Citians' are on edge. It brings me to the question many are asking.... What the hell is wrong with people? (I don't know if we will ever learn the answer.)




On Saturday I volunteered at Rock the Parkway Half Marathon. I am a runner and I enjoy volunteering at races if I haven't been running and don't plan on racing that day. Volunteers are great for races for many reasons. One - they want to be there! You know something is going to be done right when you have people who want to be there and willing to give their time to help. Two - volunteers help keep costs down! It's great to have police presence on the course to keep runners safe but it's expensive to have an officer at every intersection so volunteers are asked to help police keep traffic off the route. Generally officers and volunteers are staggered so that if a volunteer needs assistance from the police an officer is close by. In all the years I have volunteered at races I have only had a couple close calls. This weekend was one of those times. 


It was mere seconds before the lead runner in the half marathon was about to approach the intersection I was volunteering at (pictured above) when a woman in a white minivan decided she was in too much of a hurry to be delayed by a race. I had positioned my car to block the intersection but allowed a little room for vehicles to get through when there was adequate space between runners. I noticed the minivan coming from the north side of the street so I moved in to the space between my car and the stop sign. Knowing the lead runner was close I needed to keep the minivan from entering the intersection and possibly turning right which would lead her straight in to the runners. The police officer assigned to the same intersection was over to the east of my location watching for traffic coming from the south side (it was a weird intersection where it forked to the east and south so an officer & volunteer were assigned to it). He wasn't close enough to help me if someone decided to not listen to my command to stop and unfortunately that is the situation I was facing. The woman in the minivan refused to stop for me. She didn't even slow down. I had to jump out of the way and all I could do was watch as she not only didn't stop for me but blew through the stop sign and then through the east part of the intersection where the officer was. He yelled at her but she still didn't stop. She thankfully headed south instead of continuing east or it could have been a disaster. The runners were coming from the east and clearly she was not concerned about anyone but herself as evident by her unwillingness to listen to me or the officer. That brings me back to my question: What the hell is wrong with people? Other than the minivan everyone else was cooperative despite being delayed to their destinations. I'll keep volunteering at races. It's my way of giving back to a sport I love.




Yesterday, unspeakable tragedy struck the Johnson County Kansas community.  A shooter took 3 lives in two different locations. The first location was the Jewish Community Center of Greater Kansas City located in Overland Park where a grandfather and his grandson were shot to death in their vehicles. The second location was nearby at the Village Shalom, a retirement center, where a woman who has yet to be identified was shot to death in the parking lot. The shootings are believed to be related and possibly a hate crime. The suspect was taken in to custody in a parking lot at a nearby school. He was heard making anti-Semitic comments such as "Heil Hitler". I won't mention the suspects name as he doesn't deserve recognition for his hatred towards mankind. The subject shot at a total of 5 people but thankfully hit only 3 of the 5. A dozen or more shots may have been fired according to police. Police don't believe the suspect knew the victims or others that were shot at. Police increased patrol in areas around Jewish religious centers in case this was a hate crime related to the upcoming Jewish holiday. Extra support was brought in from area agencies as well as the FBI to assist with the investigation.




RIP Reat Underwood, Dr. William Lewis Corporon and Terri Lammano. Reat was a freshman at Blue Valley High School. His grandfather was an area physician who moved to the KC area about a decade ago to be closer to his grandkids. Terri Lammano was an Occupational Therapist for Children's Center for Visually Impaired. May God wrap his loving arms around all those affected by this senseless tragedy.

A prayer vigil was held last night at St. Thomas the Apostle Episcopal Church. The vigil was open to the public and had more than 200 people in attendance to mourn the lives lost.



Blue Valley students mourn the loss of Reat Underwood.
To learn more about this young man taken to soon follow this link: http://www.kctv5.com/story/25255256/blue-valley-high-students-sudden-mourn-loss-of-talented-classmate

Coworkers, family and friends mourn the loss of Terri Lammano.
To learn more about this remarkable woman taken so tragically follow these links:  http://www.kctv5.com/video?clipId=10053383&autostart=true &

Rather than conclude this post with my previous question, What the hell is wrong with people? I would like to leave with this thought...