If you read my previous post titled Because One Suicide is One Too Many! or another post titled Suicide in Law Enforcement... What can be done to prevent it? then you know suicide is often not talked about in Fire/EMS/Law Enforcement. The often mentioned mantra is ‘We help others but never ourselves.’ That’s our culture. ‘ Don’t ask for help.’” It's time we change that! After losing one of their own recently to suicide as well as 3 others in the last 10 years, KCFD has decided it's time to step up and talk about suicide prevention. With help from Richard Gist, principle assistant to the fire chief and public health psychologist with KCFD, they have come up with the ACT program to help fire fighters who may be struggling.
The concept of the program is this: Ask what's going on with someone and if they are thinking about hurting themselves. Care is about showing a person that you care about them. Take stands for taking that person to a place where they can get help if you determine they need help.
Nico Cruz, a 23 year veteran of the KCFD took his life on July 27, 2014. His service was held on Saturday August 2, 2014. He is survived by four children. His oldest daughter, Catalina Cruz, said that she decided to speak out about her father's suicide in hopes of preventing other suicides. Her interview can be seen by clicking on the picture below and following the link.
I attended Nico's service. Having gone to high school with Nico and catching up periodically over the years I know what a big heart he had! He volunteered with MDA and BACA. He was passionate about protecting kids from child abuse. And personally, I will always remember that he took the time to call me after my fire 2 years ago to make sure I was okay and ask if I needed anything. In this day and age, who takes time to do that? Nico did! His death was a shock to so many of us who knew him. He did so much for others but was unable to ask for help for himself when he needed it. It's time to stand up and talk about mental health not only in the fire industry, EMS and Law Enforcement but to the public in general. I was so impressed with Nico's family during his service. Many times when suicide is the reason for someones death the family won't mention it. Not only did Nico's family mention it as cause of death but they took the opportunity to use his service as a forum to advocate suicide prevention. They asked everyone in attendance to reach out and speak to someone if they were hurting and needed help. Pamphlets about suicide prevention were available for anyone to pick up. I guarantee you, there was not a dry eye in the house! This was a family in pain that desperately wanted to reach out to others in hopes of preventing another family from going through similar pain. I admire the family for their courage during such a difficult time!
Catalina's message was this... "My message would be if you know anyone who is struggling with suicide, please talk with them and get some help!"
Cousin Desmond McIntyre, also a fire fighter with KCFD, explained that firefighters see things that you can never erase from your mind and deal with stresses and family and work that are incredibly difficult. He encouraged others to take the time to talk with people and find out how they're really doing and do it often. It's not clear what caused Nico to take his life. It is clear he was hurting.
If you suspect someone is hurting, reach out to them. Sometimes people are afraid to talk to family or friends regarding things they may be struggling with. If you know someone who is struggling but fear they may be afraid to talk, there are good resources you can point them to. One such resource is the Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
If you call the Lifeline you can remain anonymous. They are there to listen and help! You do not have to be suicidal to call. Anyone who is hurting and needs to talk can call. They also have a chat line if you prefer. Having used this resource myself I can assure you, it is a great resource and you can remain anonymous! What I learned from my experience (I used the chat function) is that you really can remain anonymous and people really do want to help! The only time they will disclose your identity is if you are going to hurt yourself. I wasn't suicidal when I contacted the Lifeline, I just really needed to talk through something that I wasn't sure I could talk to my family or friends about. Thanks to having a positive experience with the Lifeline, I now see a therapist on a regular basis and that is a great help to me. Sometimes it's not easy to talk to family or friends and that's when talking to a professional can help. I had to wait until I was insured again before I could start working with a therapist but I am glad I did. She is a good resource for me and I feel safe talking to her about any issues including Nico's suicide. I know a lot of people are hurting after losing Nico in such a shocking way. If you are struggling with Nico's death or any other issue please reach out for help!
IF YOU ARE IN CRISIS AND NEED IMMEDIATE HELP,
please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Seeking help is a sign of strength not of weakness. It is the first step in reestablishing control in your life. Always remember when there is life there is hope!
RIP Nico! You are loved and so very much missed!
We are sorry to hear about your friend Nico's suicide. Thank you for posting this important message and information.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Nico may not be here physically but his spirit is still here helping. I think he would be proud to know his family is speaking up about suicide prevention. He is helping others through them.
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