Today kicks off National Suicide Prevention Week...

Mental Health and particularly suicide is not a topic many feel comfortable talking about. That needs to change! Every 40 seconds the world loses someone to suicide. The World Health Organization estimates that nearly 800,000 people die by suicide each year. Chances are you know someone who has died by suicide. This year alone I know of 4 friends and/or acquaintances that have died by suicide not including actor Robin Williams. It's hard enough to lose someone you know to suicide, it's even harder when you are struggling with depression as I am. It's a battle. There are good days and not so good days. I have found that talking about it helps. I also have learned though that you have to be careful who you talk to. Not everyone has your best interest in mind. I don't want to dwell on that though because seeking help is truly the best way to prevent suicide!

The University of Southern California School of Social Work started a collaboration with experts in the mental health field to create the "100 Voices for Suicide Prevention" campaign.  Every day this week I am going to share on my blog a posting submitted to the 100 Voices for Suicide Prevention campaign.  

Here is the submission I would like to share today:

   This post was submitted to the 100 Voices for Suicide Prevention campaign by Badge of Life, a group of active and retired police officers, medical professionals and surviving families of suicides from the United States and Canada. The cornerstone of our Badge of Life program is an entirely new approach to suicide prevention, called the “Emotional Self-Care Program ” (ESC).

The world of depression and suicide is a dark, murky one that’s hard for “outsiders” to understand. No one truly wants to die—that defies the human instinct to survive and continue on. Depression is a heaviness that suffocates, that darkens the sun and casts the person into a seemingly eternal, turbulent night. Suicide, which is depression out of control, is akin to standing on a burning floor in the World Trade Center. The floors below you are consumed and the flames are licking at your back as you stand at the window. You have only one of two choices—to either burn a slow and terrible death or jump from the window to escape the pain. That’s what suicide is—an attempt to escape a pain that seems as bad as burning in a gasoline fire for eternity. Standing at ground level, how would you judge this person? You have no such right—because you’re not standing on the window ledge hearing the screams behind you and feeling the flames licking at your back.

The one thing that is hard for the suicidal person to understand is that there really is refuge from the pain. To communicate this calls for compassion, empathy, and an effort to assure the person that they are not alone. This is best accomplished by showing the person you understand the dynamics of depression and suicide and that you realize suicide seems, for the moment, to be the “only way” to escape the pain of what is troubling them. Above all, let the person talk. Do not label or judge the person.

Do not be afraid to use words like, “caring,” “loving” and “accepting.” The right words are important, and allow them to show in your voice. It is imperative that the person understand that, regardless of what has brought them to this stage, they can survive it and be cared for in a compassionate way by others who have “been there” and/or who dedicate their lives to helping others.

As one psychologist put it, “There is no such thing as no hope.” Let the suicidal person know that there is not only hope, but that their life is important to you. Avoid saying things like, “You have so much to live for,” “Your suicide will hurt your family” or, worse, “Look on the bright side.” Stay away from patronizing statements like, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” These only open up arguments. Again, empathy and the offer of caring, professional help are crucial.

If a peer support officer is available, take advantage of them either directly or in an advisory capacity. These officers are also trained in the symptoms of suicide and how to talk with a potential victim.

Most importantly, listen. Allow the person to vent their emotions, fears and anger and encourage them to talk about their motives for suicide. Time is on your side. If they show any openness to alternatives, take advantage of it and keep them talking about them. Remember, the suicidal person often feels cornered, trapped and isolated. Your job is to help them feel included–and part of the solution.

If you or a loved one is hurting please reach out. Asking for help is the hardest thing to do but so worth it!